


not me without you

by andromedagalaxy



Series: Philkas College Verse [6]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 16:10:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10539948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromedagalaxy/pseuds/andromedagalaxy
Summary: Lukas gets the emergency text and hardly remembers to pick up his bag before he’s racing out of the classroom. This is Philip’s off day, which usually means Lukas leaves their apartment in the morning while Philip is still sleeping. Philip will get up a couple hours later and go to the campus library to study, and when Lukas is done with his classes they’ll get lunch and ride home together.So of course, on today of all fucking days, there’s a fire in the goddamn library.





	

Lukas gets the emergency text and hardly remembers to pick up his bag before he’s racing out of the classroom. This is Philip’s off day, which usually means Lukas leaves their apartment in the morning while Philip is still sleeping. Philip will get up a couple hours later and go to the campus library to study, and when Lukas is done with his classes they’ll get lunch and ride home together.

So of course, on today of all fucking days, there’s a fire in the goddamn library.

He texts Philip. _Are you in the library?_

There’s no reply as he speeds up his pace, nearly toppling down the stairs and brushing by a group of girls. He stares down at his phone and waits for the three dots to appear but they never do. He tries not to think about throwing up. 

_Please answer me, are you in the library?_

He gets down to the first floor and rushes outside, heading in that direction. They’ve been here for six months and everything has been perfect. They make dinner together almost every night. Philip’s gotten them started on smoothies since they got that blender and Lukas has to admit that he likes them more than he thought he would. They have a date night every Thursday and they’ve been seeing more movies than he has in his entire life. They both love their classes and Lukas is actually doing well, might actually be _learning_ , might have actually stepped into a perfect bubble of the life he’s always wanted. Always needed.

So of course there had to be a fucking fire in the library on the day when Philip always goes to the library. 

He doesn’t want to text again so he dials his number, bringing the phone to his ear. His hand is trembling. It rings once, twice, three times and then goes to voicemail. _Hey, it’s Philip, I finally set up my mailbox! So leave a message._

“Baby,” Lukas says, his voice breaking, “call me back right _now_ , please. Right now, like, immediately.” 

When he hangs up he can hear the sirens. He hurries down the hill and starts running, weaving through the walkways between the buildings and breathing hard through his mouth. He squeezes his phone so tight in his hand that he feels like he’s going to break it.

He finally reaches the library and sees the crowd gathered outside, the three firetrucks parked on the road beside the building. His heart is beating wildly and he stops the first person he sees staring up at what’s going on. “Hey,” he says, grabbing the guy’s arm. “Did they—did they get everybody out?” 

The guy shrugs at him, shaking his head. “I’m not sure. I wasn’t in there.”

Lukas groans and keeps walking forward, moving over towards the firetrucks. There are a couple firemen standing there and he runs up to them. “Hey,” he says, his stomach twisting and something rushing in his ears, “everybody’s out of the building, right? There’s nobody left in there?”

“Everybody should be out,” the fireman says, nodding at him. 

_Should be_ isn’t fucking good enough. Lukas nods back but only vaguely, turning around and moving through the crowd. He could pick Philip out anywhere but he doesn’t see him, and he calls him again, listening for his ringtone. 

_Hey, it’s Philip, I finally set up my mailbox! So leave a message._

“Goddamnit, Philip, where are you?” Lukas says. His voice breaks and he’s on the verge of tears. He always has nightmares about losing Philip and now it’s real life again, they’re threatened again, and if that voicemail message is the only way he’s going to hear Philip’s voice for the rest of his life—

He swallows hard and tries not to think that way. 

~

He works through the crowd for half an hour before deciding to head home, assuming, hoping that Philip’s phone died and he went home to meet Lukas there. He rushes back on his bike and breaks all the speed limits but he hardly notices. He’s single minded, Philip, Philip, Philip and it’s fucking necessary to find him, to touch him, to make sure he’s alright. He has to be alright.

Lukas unlocks their front door and his hands are shaking so hard that he drops the keys once he’s inside. “Philip!” he yells, stumbling through the living room. “Philip, are you here?” He pushes his way into the bedroom and he sees him lying in the bed. He sits up blearily, rubbing his eyes. Lukas can hardly move, struck dumb and silent. 

“What’s wrong?” Philip asks, his hair curling over his forehead. “What time is it?”

Lukas stares at him for a moment like he isn’t real. He’s still only wearing his boxers like he was this morning and the creases from the pillow are pressed into his cheek. He doesn't even have his watch on. “You—you didn’t—you didn’t come to campus?”

Philip hums to himself, shifting a little bit so he can look at the clock on the nightstand. “Jesus, I meant to go—I only meant to sleep for a half an hour longer, I’m sorry.” He snorts, shaking his head, a little crooked smile gracing his face. “Did you miss me?”

Lukas’s mouth is so dry. “You didn’t—you didn’t go to the library? At all?”

“Mmm no,” Philip says, leaning on his elbows. “I woke up for a bit when you left and thought about leaving for the library early, but then I also thought about going back to sleep. So then I…did that. For longer than I intended.” He smiles again. “Why? Did something happen?”

Lukas can’t take it anymore. He kicks his shoes off and lunges for the bed, climbing up the length of Philip’s body until he takes that adorable, perfect, confused face in his hands and starts to kiss him senseless.

Philip makes a little surprised noise into his mouth, hands resting on Lukas’s shoulders. He turns his head for better access and Lukas can’t get enough, easing him back so they’re laying down. 

“Lukas,” Philip breathes, his breath hitching when Lukas starts kissing across his neck. “What—what’s going on?”

“I need you,” Lukas says, and it’s true. It’s the only thing he can think about. An hour ago he was considering the possibility that he’d goddamn lost him. He kisses Philip’s pulse point and breathes hot there, trying to keep the tears from gathering in his eyes. “Please,” Lukas whispers. “Please, please.”

“Yes,” Philip says, helping grasp at Lukas’s shirt until they’re both pulling it off and away.

Lukas clutches at him, keeping him so close until they’re both finally naked and breathing hot into each other’s space. He can’t fucking think straight and he just starts thrusting against him, staring into Philip’s eyes and moaning at the friction.

“Lukas,” Philip breathes, clinging to him, pulling him down closer so their noses bump together. “Lukas, are we—are we gonna—”

Lukas kisses him again and keeps moving, relishing the sound of Philip whimpering into his mouth. His fear boils over into pure need, the all-encompassing love he feels for Philip. Philip, who could have been gone, Philip, who’s awoken such deep devotion in him, something Lukas thought he wasn’t capable of feeling. Everything else fades away and he can’t stop kissing him, can’t stop touching him and moving against him. He’s here, he’s here, he’s _real._

Philip breathes out harsh when Lukas hitches his leg up, and Jesus Christ Lukas wants to make love to him, he wants to be inside him but he can’t even think about separating from him now, not for one moment, one second.

“Oh God, baby,” Philip moans, digging his nails into Lukas’s back. “God, don’t stop—don’t stop moving, please—”

But then he slides his hand down to grab Lukas’s ass and that’s all it takes, Lukas’s muscles seizing up and his whole body trembling. He licks into Philip’s mouth as he comes, wanting so desperately to hold on to the taste of him. 

He still feels dizzy but when he pulls back from the kiss he reaches down, taking Philip in hand. He rests his head against Philip’s temple and slides his hand up his length, feeling him shake and writhe underneath him. “I love you, Philip,” Lukas whispers into his skin. “I need you so much. I want you forever.”

“God, Lukas,” Philip moans, arching his neck back. 

Lukas moves with him, kissing the corner of his mouth. “You’re mine and I’m yours, baby,” Lukas pants, wetting his bottom lip. “God, don’t ever leave me. I’m not me without you.”

Philip’s brows knit together and he sucks in a breath. “No, I’d—I would—oh—oh fuck—” He squeezes his eyes shut and spills over into Lukas’s hand, hot between them. Lukas helps him through it and kisses his eyelids, the curve of his cheek, the scar on his forehead. 

Lukas wipes his hand on the towel that’s still on the bed from last night and settles down on top of him, feeling Philip’s arms close around him.

“What in the hell,” Philip says a few minutes later, still breathless, “was that all about?”

Lukas laughs into his neck, pressing a kiss there too. His mind is finally clearing up and he realizes he probably looks like some kinda sex-crazed lunatic. 

“Seriously,” Philip says, reaching up to card his fingers through Lukas’s sweaty hair. “Like, did they serve aphrodisiacs at the burger place today? I might miss our lunch every week if this is what I get instead.”

Lukas doesn’t know how to start. He sits up a bit, staring down at him. “Your phone is on silent still, isn’t it?”

Philip looks over in that direction. “Yeah, always is when I sleep.” He looks concerned now, his brows furrowing.

“There was a fire in the library,” Lukas says, swallowing hard. “They sent out that emergency text and I saw it in class—”

Realization dawns across Philip’s face. “Oh fuck, Lukas,” he says, closing his eyes. “Oh God, I’m sorry.”

“I just…I rushed over there and there were three fire trucks and a whole crowd and it looked pretty bad and I was searching everywhere but I couldn’t—I couldn’t find you—”

“Come here,” Philip says, drawing him down again, and Lukas buries his face in his neck. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“’s okay,” Lukas says, squeezing his eyes shut so he doesn’t start crying again. “I was just—I was scared, I was so afraid. Jumping to all kinds of conclusions. And then I came here and I saw you and you were your perfect normal self just laying here all cute and I just—I needed to remind myself that you were real. Right here and real and with me.”

Philip kisses Lukas’s jaw, gripping the back of his neck. “I’m so sorry,” he breathes. “I’m not gonna put it on silent when we’re apart anymore.”

“No, don’t worry, baby,” Lukas says.

“I don’t want you going through something like that again,” Philip says. “You’re the only person that calls me anyway.”

Lukas snorts, easing up a little and looking back down at him again. “I’ll tell that to Helen and Gabe,” he says. 

“You call me more than them and I see you every day.”

“Well, what can I say?” Lukas says. He still can’t get over Philip’s face. He’s so beautiful.

Philip smiles, shaking his head. “Was everyone okay in the library?”

“I hope so,” Lukas says. “Honestly, I was only thinking about you.”

Philip touches his cheek, pulling him into a kiss. “Well, I’m right here,” he whispers against his lips. “And I personally believe that since you’ve had such a stressful morning that we owe it to ourselves to order some pizza and spend the rest of the day in bed. Maybe a shower thrown in there somewhere. Maybe some hot chocolate at some point.”

“That sounds perfect,” Lukas says. “As long as you’re with me the whole damn day. I plan on being clingy as fuck.”

“I like clingy Lukas,” Philip says, smirking up at him. “Well, I love every Lukas. But clingy Lukas is one of my favorites.”

“You’re my favorite,” Lukas says, leaning down to kiss him again.


End file.
